


The Elephant's Charlie Horse

by Anrisa Ryn (Anrisa)



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-21 00:43:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/893800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anrisa/pseuds/Anrisa%20Ryn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is tilting sideways, and only Rincewind knows why. </p><p>Originally posted on my <a href="http://anrisa.deviantart.com/art/The-Elephant-s-Charlie-Horse-266074040">dA</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Elephant's Charlie Horse

**Author's Note:**

> For those that don't know, Discworld is a flat world shaped like a circle that is set on top of the backs of four elephants, on to of the back of a giant sea turtle that floats through space. [[link]](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://wiki.lspace.org/uploads/7/77/Greatatuin.gif)

     "Why is everything tilting?" Rincewind asked, a little concerned.  
     "Hell if I should know," the tavern owner answered.  
     For some reason, the entirety of the city was titling slight down so that everything was sliding off and around the room. It was very unnerving.  
     "Is this happening outside of Ankh?" Rincewind asked.  
     "Haven't got word, but I would say yes," the tavern owner replied. The wizard watched as his tankard of mead seemed to slide toward the edge of the round, wooden table and decided he should probably catch it before it fell off. Grasping the handle, the drink sloshing noisily as if in protest. He looked over at the other tables that weren't so lucky; puddles of the alcoholic beverages grew on the floor accompanied by curses and rants.  
     "We've never had an earthquake in the area," Rincewind mused. He went through a mental list of things that it could be: tectonic shifts, strange water and wind patterns.... There was one option left, but it seemed so unlikly he nearly dismissed it.  
     "Where are the nearest astral zoologists?" he asked the tavern owner. The larger man stared at him for a moment, wondering if the wizard actually asked him that question.  
     "How should I know? Do I look like a tour guide?"  
     "No, that would be my job," Rincewind replied with a joking smile. "Right. To the library."  
     The city outside wasn't much better. The market carts began rolling away, still stocked full of fruits and vegetables. Water sloshed out of the fountain and made a bee line down the cobbled street, causing a horse to slip on the wet ground. The rider flipped off and landed on his bottom with an expression of surprise and pain, quickly followed by annoyance.  
     "This place is a madhouse!" Rincewind commented, hurry off to the ancient building just below the Unseen Academy.  
     Quickly rushing inside, he was dismayed to see the library was in just as bad of shape. Books fell off shelves willy-nilly as the librarian raced around trying to keep up with the mess.  
     "Can't you see I am rather busy?" the librarian grumble.  
     "Yes, well, I just wanted to find out where the nearest astral zoologist is located," Rincewind said quickly.  
     "Krull of course!" the librarian snapped.  
     Rincewind blinked in shock, but then decided he should exit before the man snapped at him again.  
      _Krull_ he mused. _I need to catch a boat there right away...!_  
     Catching a merchant ship heading toward Krull, he paid the owner whatever he had in his pockets and offered to work off whatever he owed until they reached Krull. Reluctantly, the owner agreed, and reluctantly being the key word, especially with Rincewind's sapient pearwood insisting to follow him (That blasted chest was sometimes more annoying than helpful, but it had saved his rear on more occasions than one. Rincewind made a note to send a thank you to Twoflower for the annoying contraption.). He made use of it though, having it carry various cleaning supplied as Rincewind set out on his chores to pay off the captain.  
     The ride to Krull took little more than an hour. Usually it would have taken at least five, but the tilting of Discworld made the trip much shorter and the problem seemed to be getting even worse. Before the captian could protest, Rincewind was off the boat and into the astral zoologists' tower. He raced up the stairs and threw open the door to find himself in the middle of an intense discussion about the problem.  
     "I'm telling you, it's just tectonic shifts!" one said. "It has nothing to do with the turtle's movement!"  
     "No, it has to be the turtle," another argue. "Maybe she is making a u-turn."  
     "Excuse me," Rincewind interuppted. The argument went instantly silent as he drew the eyes of all four men.  
     "Yes, how can we help you?" the first asked.  
     "I know what's happening to the disc," the wizard breathed.  
     "Do tell," said the second.  
     "The elephants," Rincewind explained, catching his breath, "one of them has a charlie horse."  
     The astral zoologists all stared at each other and slowly, realization dawned on their faces.  
     "By the Great A'Tuin, you may be right," said a third zoologist. "That would explain the sudden tilting. The elephant is trying to rest its leg by laying down!"  
     "This must be fixed at once!" said the first.  
     "I'll contact every veterinary expert in Discworld!" said the second.  
     "I'll make finger sandwiches!" said the fourth. When the others glared at him him looked at them casually. "What? We might get hungry!"


End file.
